Hearts are a curse put upon the earth to torment and destroy. Im convinced of it.
I am fresh coming out of a marriage...a bad marriage. I had (without plan) a woman briefly that I had always wanted since we were kids. Why we did not continue with our relationship...I dont completely know. after a misunderstanding of sorts on both ends we decided it best to separate.
After that I (again unplanned) started a relationship with a good woman. I thought I was happy for a while. But my heart has since split. I have fallen away from her and we have become less and less happy together though it fluctuates. The way things are going, it feels inevitable to split and I dont see us in a truely long term relationship. My heart and my mind are and have been a thousand miles away...
I hurt for another...for the girl I had loved since childhood. But I dont know that she loves me. Communication is minimal, I am unsure of her intentions and feelings...
Even if I am to be alone, I am feeling a climax has been reached. I dont know what to do. Im happy but Im not. Im miserable but Im not. I feel like my issues are minimal and possibly contrived though....
Why cant I get her out of my head? Why cant I just get the balls to do what I know is inevitable...or necessary? Is it necessary?
Ill post more later.
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